Workin' at the Car Wash

As most of you know we got a new car just before we left home. Well, I'm a fanatic about washing the car on a road trip because bugs mess up the window and the front bumper, hood, etc. So far I've washed the car 4 times. But at least it doesn't look like an advertisement for "Bug Guts Gazette." Actually Mae wanted me to post this because she thinks it's funny.

What's really funny is when we were mid way between one place and another in South Dakota, we stopped at a scenic, historic, let-me-separate-you-from-your-money kind of place. We went inside to see if we could withstand the come-hither mystery of the money-takers (which we did by the way). And when we went out to get in the car, there were two chickens pecking at the dead bugs on the bumper (and then you know it's time to wash the car).

As a side note, I believe that South Dakota is the traveling carnival carney-barker capitol of the world (without any traveling involved, because they stay where they are and everyone else does the traveling). We've never seen so many 1) Dinosaur, 2) Ghost, 3) Mysterious Phenomenon, 4) Cosmos-thingie museums ever. Oh, and the Corn Palace and Wall Drug. Gimme a small break; we're trying to look at the scenery, not the billboards.

That said, the Black Hills, Badlands, Mt. Rushmore, and Crazy Horse were amazing.

The Good, The Bad, and The Tawdry

The Good

The hotel in Denver is great. Our room has a living room and a bedroom with doors separating the two. The swimming pool is really clean and nice, and the hot tub is hot (a real plus when you've stopped traveling for the night). All in all, a great place.

The Bad

The air conditioner doesn't work.

This on Denver's hottest day of the summer. Now I know all our friends in San Antonio have absolutely no sympathy and I understand. However, I need it cold in the bedroom to sleep. Mae and I have a deal at home, the air conditioner doesn't go below 73 at night. Were it completely up to me, it would go as low as I could get it.

When we arrived I turned on the A/C, it's just one of those things I do. It worked, or so I found out later it only worked for a few minutes. So, it's getting time for bed, I go into the bedroom and it's hot. I fiddled with the thermostat and nothing. Called the desk and was told it was an energy-efficient a/c and that it measured the temperature outside, the temperature inside and blah blah blah. He said to turn up the thermostat a little and it would work. Bottom line; it was a complete cock and bull story. I went to bed and sweat until 12:30 when I got up and went to the front desk and talked to the bs'er and asked him if all the rooms had the "energy-efficient" a/c as did we. He said "yeah" in that tone of voice that told me I was keeping him from figuring out what flavor of gum was on the bottom of his shoe; and he didn't appreciate the interruption. I told him to cancel the next two nights reservations because I was unable to sleep. Once again the response had that similar tone. No "here let me get you a different room, or perhaps you might like a free box of miniature doggie biscuits (I'll let you decide if the biscuits were miniature, or the doggies).

So, I returned to the room and went to bed. At 2:30a.m. after sweatting another couple hours I phoned Expedia to cancel the next two nights because I figured if I didn't, I might not be reimbursed. After that phone call I was in a rare mood; one might even say mad as hell. Went back to bed and finally fell asleep at approximately 4:30.

Got up at 6:30 to get ready to pack up and get us hither to a different hotel. Now, I must let you know Mae is tired of packing and moving (and it's her birthday). So, as she's taking a shower, I lean into the bathroom and tell her I'm going to the front desk to see if this can be salvaged. Bottom line, the new person on the desk had some customer service blood flowing through her veins and within a couple hours we had a brand new a/c unit. Yay! Mae was happy, I was happy, and all is well. Oh, by the way, when I got up at 6:30 I vowed to be happy and not let this ruin the day...after we remember it's Mae's birthday. And according to Mae I was successful (which is really amazing because when confronted with lousy customer service, I can go on a tear and make everyone's life miserable).

The Tawdry

Now, I know this is the one that you're really interested in, but had to leave it to last.

Last evening (before the whole a/c incident), I'm outside smoking a cigar (ooops, forgot the setup).

The Setup

Our room is on the first floor at the end of a wing of the hotel, and there's an outside door that you can use, but need your key card to get into the building.

Back to The Tawdry

So, there I was smoking a cigar and a newish Corvette pulls into the parking lot. Out steps a gorgeous woman (27 maybe), wearing spray-painted on jeans, and a halter top that wasn't halting much. She goes to the door, taps on it and waits. Maybe 30 seconds later a guy comes to the door and opens it for her. Now I didn't time it or nothin' but I know by how long it takes me to smoke a cigar that she was in there maybe 45 minutes. She leaves the hotel, looking somewhat mussed up; gets into her Corvette and leaves. Now one of two things happened. She was either a call girl (the first one I've ever seen; at least that I know of); or she was in the fashion business and was modeling the most amazing halter tops available. My money is on the first. What do y'all think?

Denver

We made it to Denver and had dinner with Matt and Stacy (Cherry Cricket restaurant/bar, and I had a bowl of Green Chili and a couple tortillas...awesome as usual). Tomorrow I'll update on everything that has happened up to now. Between being busy, lousy wifi at most hotels and being really tired, I haven't lived up to the getting updates every day. Tomorrow, I promise.

Nothing like a Goose

This morning Mae and I decided to go for a walk and work out the kinks before we left Little Rock AFB. First off, let me say Little Rock AFB is a gorgeous place. Beautiful pine trees, green every where (now, for those of you who are NOT from San Antonio, please realize we haven't had rain since the last full eclipse of Pluto...so green grass etc. is quite appealing). Any way, we were on a walking path that meandered around some static displays of airplanes (which is always a great thing to meander around) when I heard a honking noise. A very familiar honking noise that instantly made me long for Alaska and a cool autumn. We watched as a flight of Canada geese flew by.

OK, enough of that, it's time to get on the road again (thanks Willie Nelson). So, here we are driving through Arkansas (once again very green, lush countryside; sorry, just can't seem to get past the greenness of the place) and lunchtime is rapidly approaching. We're looking for a rest area in which to, well, rest; and eat lunch. We saw three rest areas in the next 100 miles of Arkansas. All on the other side of the highway. As we left the state, and entered Missouri, we decided to give Arkansas an "F" for rest stops. But we finally found one 41 miles into MO and stopped for lunch.

The rest of the trip to Champaign, IL was uneventful. That is until we got to Champaign. Oh, before I forget, I absolutely have to let you know what kind of gas mileage we're getting in our new Hyundai Elantra (standard). I am so impressed I can't even use numbers, I'm spelling it out because that somehow seems more reverent, more impressive, should be spoken in hushed tones. Thirty eight point nine miles per gallon. I know! Amazing!

Now, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted by the part of my brain that just jumps in anytime it wants? Oh yeah. Arriving in Champaign. Ooops, here comes another one of those brain interruptions...We are a fairly up-to-date, computer-savvy, know the score couple. However, we've decided to start writing (on actual paper) the address and directions to the place we're going because when you don't have wi-fi the computer is basically worthless especially when everything is either in Gmail or Google maps. Duh!

That leads into the whole getting to Champaign thing. I knew basically where the hotel was. And by basically, I mean I knew it was in Illinois. Not much help when actually trying to find it. Now we had made it to Champaign in about 9 hours, and I was pretty pumped about that. But my hard-won victory was being diluted by not finding the hotel. To make a long painful story short, we found it (after about 30-40 minutes). Then off to a great steak restaurant, back to the hotel to the hot tub (an absolute necessity when traveling), and bed.

Oh, by the way, when we got back to the hotel after dinner Mae pointed out a herd of geese across the parking lot (they weren't flying, but waddling on the ground, hence the herd reference).

So we started the day with a goose, and ended with one.

Day One Schertz to Little Rock AFB

The first day went well, albeit a little long. We planned for eight hours on the road and it ended up being eleven. Oh well, we made it and that's the most important thing.

We decided to go old school and take lunch-fixin's. It's funny, Mae and I both come from Air Force families, and did lots of traveling as kids. Both her family and mine covered a lot of ground on trips, and the only way to

do that was to stop for gas, lunch (usually at a roadside picnic table), dinner, and the motel. So, we decided to do the same thing, uh, except when we were ravenous there was no picnic table in sight so we improvised (we were about 50 miles south of Dallas). We brought bread, pepper turkey, tomato, and lettuce; with assorted condiments.

A short while later, we drove past a spaceship which has a for sale sign in front of it. You'll never know what you'll see in the middle of nowhere Texas.

A while later, around Greenville, TX, where Michael's girlfriend is from, road construction closed one lane and left one open for traffic. Now, I know you've seen the guy who drives like a bat out of hell in the lane that's about to be closed, just so he can get ahead of some of the traffic. Then at the last minute he swerves into the other lane.

Well, we saw a variation of this theme play out and it was quite funny. "The guy" drives past us in the right lane (the one about to close) and another guy about three cars in front of us pulls into the right lane in front of "The guy" and slows down...wouldn't let him pass. In fact "The guy" tries to go around him on the right, but the other guy swerves to the right in front of him and won't let him get by. This went on for a few miles and we suspected "The guy" was really getting mad. After a while, "The guy" drives off the shoulder on the right and goes onto the access road. As he gets onto the access road I asked Mae a rhetorical question, "Do you think "The guy" is going to give "The bird?" No sooner had I said it did we witness the window rolling down and a perfect bird appear. Ahhhh, life in the fast lane.

Oh, by the way, this happened while passing the Almost Heaven ranch!

Graduation at Sam Houston State University

We drove to Huntsville, TX on Friday to attend Seth's and Jen's graduation from SHSU. These are two of Michael's friends from SACS (really neat people), and we wanted to be there for the graduation. On the way we went through Bastrop, TX. It blew me away. What a beautiful place. Mae told me to watch for the location where the landscape juxtaposes from what I consider to be typical Texas to pine trees, hills and scenic vistas. Boom, there it was and we were on the edge of countryside I didn't know existed in this great state. Frankly I couldn't believe my eyes. The transition was so stark and quick, I almost didn't catch it. There was no warning at all as the surroundings quickly morphed from brown, dry earth to lush green. Incredible. In fact, it looked as though we were on Camano Island in Washington state where my parents lived. That is until you opened the doors of the car and stepped out. I don't think Camano Island has ever been that hot. Obviously we were still in Texas; just a completely different part. We took a short detour down a tree-lined road to take some pictures.

Then we were back on the trek to Huntsville. However, I also stopped to take a picture of the sign announcing our entrance to Old Dime Box, Texas. Unfortunately I stopped too far from the sign and the resulting picture doesn't show the name clearly.

Whenever I see an interesting town's name (or a town's interesting name) I'm curious as to what possessed the early settlers to call it that. Well, here's why...it comes from people leaving a dime in a box at Brown's Mill to get a letter delivered to Giddings, Texas. Who'd a thunk it?

I have to admit, the explanation I came up with was much more entertaining and I chuckled to myself for the next few miles as I came up with the definitive reason for the name: Back in the early 1800s when Dime Box was being settled, an entrepreneur known as "Fancy Francis" had a hankering that some day in the future there would be a saloon in town where cowboys (including Maverick), railroad workers, and the ubiquitous dance hall girls would all hang out. They'd play cards (canasta mostly), Shoots and Ladders, and Hungry Hungry Hippo. Fortunes would be made and lost on these games of chance. However, Fancy Francis foresaw that Shoots and Ladders would be especially dangerous because every man in town was packing heat and he didn't want anyone taking the game literally, so he put a box at the intersection of "Dang it's hot" and "Remind me why we moved here" streets. He put a sign on the box that said, "Put a dime in the box to save our town." No one knew what the heck he was talking about, but since he was an entrepreneur (and they had no idea what that was either, but it sure sounded fancy), they did his bidding. After he had $27.30, he wrote Milton Bradley and asked them to create a game called Chutes and Ladders, because Shoots and Ladders seemed too violent, and of course, he knew what would happen to the town otherwise. To this day, in Old Dime Box, Texas the only game of chance available at the saloon is Chutes and Ladders. In fact, due to Fancy Francis' ingenuity, there is only one recorded killing over a game of Chutes and Ladders in the town's history. Unfortunately, he had no idea how violent Hungry Hungry Hippo could get. But that's another story.

Then we finally arrived at our destination. Now I'll have to admit, I expected Huntsville to be a barren wasteland (because of the prison, naturally). I don't know about you, but having a prison in a barren wasteland seems rather poetic. Hold on there little buckaroo; Huntsville is gorgeous. No kidding, it's beautiful. More pine trees, rolling hills, and a La Quinta that, well, is quite all that.

Sam Houston State University has a very lovely campus, and the graduation was perfect. By perfect, I mean the speaker was a retired Army Brigadier General who talked maybe 10 minutes. And in my book, that makes for a perfect graduation. Seth and Jen were now all smiles and ready to press on to their next adventures.

Speaking of adventure, Mae and I visited the Sam Houston statue. Now I gotta say if you think Paul Bunyan was a large fellow, you ain't seen Sam Houston. It's no wonder he was so good in battle. He was a giant. I'm not kidding. I don't think I came up to his ankle. I'll bet he was really scary on the battlefield (if he'd only had an ox like Paul did).

Set UP

This is going to be a chronicle of our trip to visit family not seen in a while. I plan on writing and adding pictures every evening...but we'll see.